Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
