she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
