I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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