Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
