just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We're too hungover to prance.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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