Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
