i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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