she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
