This girl is more easily done than said...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
