I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize