I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
