dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize