Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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