Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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