Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
