Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
