so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
