Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
