They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
