I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
