five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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