I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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