Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
