ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
