To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
