Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
