I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
