I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
