she was so not down for the gang bang
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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