I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
