Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
