I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
