somebody snuck up and got me drunk
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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