ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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