So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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