your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
