They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
