You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
