I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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