Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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