No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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