this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
