i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
