Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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