Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I need moral support for this bender
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
