i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize