I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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