how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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