Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
