you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
