I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
