She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
