worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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