i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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