just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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