The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
please come you make the beer taste better
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize