can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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