Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
